Our Big Appointment

So tomorrow we go in for our big ultrasound. This is the one where they would have told us if we were having a boy or a girl. . .I suppose they'll confirm that. I pray there are no surprises there. . .we received a lot of girlie things for Christmas!

I'm told they will also check her growth and organs to make sure everything looks normal. Honestly, I am battling a little fear, although I've been purposing to fight it at every chance. . .proclaiming life over this child. I've just been surrounded lately by so many people in my sphere of influence experiencing pregnancy loss and complications. But I know I cannot look at anyone else's story. This is our story. I've asked the Lord with my honest heart for a completely normal report tomorrow. I feel like we've had many complications to deal with, and that at this point, we are due for a break. I know that isn't how He works. . .and I know that no matter what the report is tomorrow we will continue to contend and believe for our little girl to be born perfect. But it doesn't hurt to lay our petition before the Lord to allow us to have great breakthrough through the knowledge of a perfect baby growing inside me.

Please pray with us. For her heart and her lungs and her kidneys. . .that all would be the right size, functioning normally. And for her brain and her head. . .that there would be no abnormal growths or cysts or water. Please pray for the placenta and amniotic fluid. . .that both would be sufficient for her well being and mine. We just pray in Jesus name that she is thriving in my womb. . .receiving everything she needs for a healthy life on this earth.

I suppose a bit of my anxiety comes from what I am having to walk with my diet. People keep asking me if I've lost weight. Ha! What a joke. You want all your life to lose weight and then when you are pregnant and needing to provide nourishment for another life, you finally start to lose the pounds. Well, I haven't actually lost any weight. Although I've only gained one pound and I'm almost 19 weeks pregnant. My doctor assures me this is fine and the baby is getting what she needs. I just need to rest in that. And hey. . .who am I to complain. I might just be skinnier after she is born then before. Wouldn't that be a hoot?!

I don't know if I could ever explain the battle that rages inside me each time the days and the hours creep by, nearing another doctor's appointment. I know this is because of the horror that has met us there before. But as each appointment comes and goes, I am growing in my faith and my trust and although there is a battle, it is more easliy won. I know that is part of the purpose of this whole journey. . .learning to walk more deeply with Him. It doesn't mean the battle will disappear, it just means we'll learn that the battle is the Lord's.