I say learning because I don't feel like I have LEARNED them yet. I am in the process. I suppose we're always in the process. We go around all the time saying we've LEARNED something. I don't know that we've completely LEARNED it until we consistently put it into practice. And so I use the i-n-g rather than the e-d to let you know I'm not there yet.
Lesson #1:
Stand and Fight
At times I can get very weary. But the hard truth is, there is no guarantee how long I will be in this fight. I do not yet know what the Lord will require of us as we take this walk of faith. But all of the strength and endurance I need is available in Him. I cannot give up! I have gathered every prayer warrior I know to stand with me – I just can’t sit down and give up on my dream of a family. I have to constantly dig into the Word and rediscover the promises He’s made. I write down scriptures that speak to my heart and proclaim them when I feel like quitting the fight. I started with this one. Seemed like a good word to stand on.
Psalm 113:9 says, “He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.”
I had no idea that verse was even in the bible until I stumbled upon it a few weeks after my miscarriage. He placed that promise and others in the Word just for me!
Lesson #2:
Let Praise Be Your Biggest Weapon
The morning I received the news from my doctor of my health issues, I sat at home and cried. And then I worshiped. I put on my favorite songs and proclaimed the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord. During my sweet time with Him, I heard the Lord say, “This child will be formed from praise.” I knew then that I could not stop praising Him. When I come up against fear and unbelief, I fight it with words and songs of praise. When I am weary, I combat it with worship. He deserves all of the glory no matter what my outcome. I've decided to start giving it to Him now.
Lesson #3:
Be Open To His Perfect Will
I wish I knew for sure that I will conceive naturally, carry a baby to full term and give birth to a healthy child. I hope for that. But I’ve come to realize that we must be open to whatever the Lord’s will is for us. He may require us to take different medical measures of fertility treatment. He might already have a plan of adoption ordained for us. I must be open to His perfect provision for our lives. And I must remember that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).
So at the end of the day when I lie in bed and think about how much it hurts to walk this road. . .when I wonder why I have to walk this road and others don't. . .I turn my focus to all He is producing in me through this process and I have peace.
1 comment:
It is true, adversity always produces lessons to be learned. The trick is when adversity ceases, we feel we "Learned" the lesson, when in fact we are constantly learning. For me, one of the biggest lesson I learned through infertility was trusting God, and what I'm finding is that I'm still learning to trust, just for different things.
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