Dirty Little Secrets

So almost every day I watch Rachael Ray at 3pm central standard time. Most of the time, Hope is sleeping - although today I took about 6 trips up the stairs during the three o clock hour and she just finally drifted off at 4:15. I just love Rachael Ray. Sure, she doesn't share all of my values, but she's pretty down to earth and her shows are more helpful and informative than gossipy. And so I watch whenever I can.

Today she had on two women that authored the books, "I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids" and "Dirty Little Secrets From Otherwise Imperfect Moms." The latter book was the focus of the show. Rachael even had moms send in videos with their dirty little mom secrets (more about mom-light savings time later). I found myself getting really into their tips and tricks. Ha, Ha, Ha. I thought. I may be a new mom, but I'm not crazy. I'm only 2 months in, but all moms feel like this from time to time. They all fudge a little just to get a break.

And then I felt that tug on my heart and I knew I needed to guard myself against jumping on board this train. I'm sure the book is really cute and the dirty little secrets are silly and harmless but if I'm looking for fun ways out already, I'm in for trouble. It's not that I think it's wrong for a mom to turn all of her clocks ahead to trick her children into going to bed an hour early, just so she can take a bubble bath. No way sister. If that's what that mother of 8 year old twins needed to do, more power to her! It's just that I felt a place of comfort, identifying with moms who are burned out and tired of trying to be perfect. I related all too well already, thinking that's totally going to be me.

I don't want that to be me. I have no desire to be supermom but more importantly, I have no desire to try to be supermom only to fall short every day and hate myself for it. I just want to be a peaceful and diligent mom who is led by the Spirit to do what is best for Hope, no matter what other moms think or do. I'm sure there will be times when I fudge a bit. . .bend the "rules" or throw the schedule out the window. That's the fun and flexible part of the mom I want to be.

I think all in all, balance is the key. We can't take ourselves or our job as a mom too seriously, yet we need to go after it with excellence and diligence. I'm not sure I've found the secret to attaining this balance (after all I'm only 2 months in) but I am committed to get there. . .for her sake and for mine.

P.S. I decided not to get that book just yet. I don't think it's best for this rookie to learn the secrets too soon. Although I think I will pick it up at some point once I have a little more time under my belt as a mom.