I'm headed out the door after my first day back to work. It went pretty well. I didn't cry at all. Just felt a slight underlying feeling of guilt all day for not being home with Hope and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because I miss her so much.
She's home with my mom which is the only reason I didn't lose it today. It feels so safe to know she's with grandma. I am proud to say I only called home once today to check on them. To my delight, grandma reported that Hope went down for her naps very well and even slept 2 hours after her 11 am bottle. I am so thankful Hope has been so good for my mom and yet I wonder why she's not been that good for me! I suppose she's on her best behavior for grandma!
I'm still not sure if I am ever going to get used to leaving her. As great as our situation is, it is hard. But I feel called to be doing what I am doing so for now, this is my reality. Dave and I are taking it one step at a time as we walk the parenting trail. Maybe someday I'll get to stay home with her, but for now she gets to enjoy extra special time with grandma.
2 comments:
I'm glad to hear that your first day back went so well. I'm praying for you.
You're doing great! I'm so glad Hope is well taken care of by her loving grandma. I'm proud of how well you have transitioned to motherhood and juggling work. :) Love ya!
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