Persistence in Prayer

My 2WW has come to a close. It was a very busy two weeks. I wish I could tell you that kepy my mind from constantly wondering if there was life beginning inside of me. But it didn't. I still wondered and waited. . .

This past weekend, while I was sure I was not yet pregnant, I read in Luke about the Parable of the Persistent Widow. Jesus told his disciples that He would share this story so that they would "be encouraged to always pray and never give up." What a novel idea! And so I prayed and prayed. I utilized my right to come boldly to the throne of grace and make my petition before the Lord. If Jesus thought this widow was persistent, He hadn't seen anything yet. Check out this barren woman, Lord! I'll show you persistence. And so I asked. . .and I asked again. I continued to present my request before the Lord without wavering in my faith - all along knowing that I would have to be at peace with the answer.

This month I did not conceive. I'd like to be discouraged and confused because in this parable, the persistent widow got what she asked for right away. I wish it were that simple. I am glad that I persisted. . .that I accessed my place in the throne room and honestly poured out my heart to the Lord. Actually, although I am sad and disappointed, I feel closer to Jesus because of the time I spent petitioning before Him. I know that this intimacy is more important than any answered prayer that awaits.

And so I will start Clomid again in a few days. And I am gearing up to lay it all before Him for yet another month.