What People Think

I'm one of those people who spends a lot of my thought life wondering what other people think about me or things related to me. I hate to admit that I struggle with this fear of man, but I do. I just had a conversation with a friend today that left me thinking, What do they think of me? (In regards to a specific situation). It plagued me most of the evening until I was rocking Hope to sleep and had time to think about it further. Hope has a stomach bug so she got the rock-treatment tonight!

As I sat there, overwhelmed by the events of this week and the fact that my little one is sick to the point that I may need to take her to the hospital tomorrow, I thought to myself I don't have time to care what people think of me! A righteous disgust for the schemes of the enemy rose up in me as I considered how much time I've lost to worrying about what people think. I am a pretty much full-time working mom who has to worry about my child, my husband, my clients, my family, my leadership at church and my friends. How the heck can I fit in time to ponder whether or not my clothes are cool enough or if what I said sounded stupid? I can't. . . and today I declare that I won't!

After thinking about it with this perspective, I am so embarrassed by how much my silly fear of man has robbed my thoughts. What an idiot I am to have allowed this to take over my mind. None of us has extra time on our hands that would warrant such an unproductive and even destructive use of it. I know this is something we all deal with to some extent and so tonight I felt compelled to admit the struggle and encourage each one of us to consider how we might overcome it. For me, I believe tonight's epiphany will help me take these thoughts captive. Now, anytime I encounter these plaguing thoughts, I will think about how busy I am with things that really do matter as a reminder of how little this does matter.

Our great God has created each one of us with such a unique make up as well as a very specific life story. How dare we waste time trying to figure out why we are the way we are or why our story reads differently than someone else's. Let us trust His design and instead spend our days focused on what He thinks of who we are and how our story will bring glory to Him.

Prayer for Josiah

It is with great burden that I write this post. I should have written it a week or so ago but life got ahead of me. I'm embarrassed to say I couldn't find five minutes to ask for prayer for our friends who are hurting right now. Better late than never. The prayers are still needed.

Our friends and church family members Kara and Tony Zapata have just returned from North Carolina where they were with their little boy Josiah (2 1/2) and two other children. Kara went to NC to visit family and while there took Josiah into the emergency room. They were met with the horrible news that Josiah had a tumor on both lungs and one of his kidneys. He has been diagnosed with stage 4 Wilms' Tumor (tumors on his left kidney, on both lungs & his renal artery). The family returned home this weekend and Josiah will begin chemotherapy at Vandy this week. The doctors were pleased that the diagnosis was clear but there is still a long road to travel for sweet, little Josiah and his family.

Please pray that he would respond well to the chemo and receive complete and total healing. Please pray for strength for his small body and for his parents' hearts. I cannot even imagine the level of emotion they are experiencing right now yet they both seem so full of faith. What a testimony to what life can be like with the Lord . . . even in the really tough times.

I am believing that Josiah will be healed and that the Lord will receive amazing glory through this trial . . . both through the healing of his body and through the testimony of his parents' faith. They have already been such an example to me.

Hope's Baby Shower!

This past Saturday was Hope's baby shower. I can not begin to tell you how blessed I was by the amazing job my mom and friends did planning such a sweet event! And by all the people who came to bless us. I am overwhelmed at how good the Lord is. He is so faithful to provide everything we need and also wonderful friends and family to share it all with us.

Here are a few pictures. Didn't they do a wonderful job?!

Sweet Anderson

This past weekend I had the privilege of spending 3 nights with my friend Amber in Kansas. Remember Amber? I wrote about her a few months back. She was about to have a baby boy. Well since then, she has had that sweet little boy (Anderson). . . and I won't go into the details of her super easy birth. You all might get jealous. I know I am!

It was so amazing to spend that much time in a home with a newborn. I felt like I got a crash course! Amber is doing such a wonderful job. She carries herself through life with this new little one (not to mention being a CPA during tax season when the world doesn't stop even for an infant) with such ease. She really is a natural and I am so proud of her. I learned so much from observing and trying my best to help out every now and then. I changed a few diapers but got completely stuck when trying to change Anderson's clothes. I'm not sure why, but this is one of the things I'm just scared to do. I think I'm afraid I'll break them as I wiggle them out of their onesies. Amber assured me that they are much less fragile than we think and then proceeded to show we what to do like it was no big thing. I think it might still take me a while. Perhaps I'll have Dave change Hope's clothes every day!

Anderson is so cute. I could just stare at him all day. I'll post a picture as soon as I get them downloaded.

Another week behind me, so much learned and so much more to learn. I feel like a sponge, trying to take in every thing possible in the next few months. Yet I know the learning will be never ending.

My Friend Amber

This past weekend, my longtime friend, Amber came to visit. She is going to have her first child, a little boy, in about 7 weeks.

Amber and I went to college together, lived together, went through heartbreaks together and have eaten a lot of popcorn and M&Ms together! She is one of those friends that you know you'll have for life. . .and you always feel better being around her.

Dave and I asked Amber how she was feeling, knowing that her little boy was coming in the next 2 months. I wasn't surprised by her honesty, when she began to share that her biggest concern was that it would be too hard to adjust to having another person to take care of. She explained that she's enjoyed life with her husband. . .just the two of them. Although it would be wonderful, she is afaid that she'll be too selfish.

As I thought through what she was sharing, I thought to myself Wow, I've been so consumed with getting pregnant and staying pregnant that I haven't thought that much about having a child in my life. I suppose I figured this road has been so long and I've wanted it so badly that it would be a no brainer to give my life up for this little one. But hearing Amber share her heart really made me stop and consider if I was ready for this part of the process. I have a little bit longer to go but I want to begin preparing myself now.

I was so thankful for Amber's honesty. I'm not worried at all about her being an amazing mom. Amber is one of the most caring, nurturing, loving people I know. I have no doubt in my mind that she'll immediately fall in love with that little guy and be willing to give anything for him.

This was a good reminder for me. . .that sometimes we want things so badly that we don't think about the reality of having them. I know my heart is to devote myself to being a good mother but that doesn't mean it will be easy. But by the grace of God I know that Amber and I will be just as good of mothers as we have been friends to one another. . .not perfect, but willing to do what it takes to get better every step of the way.