Hope Turns 1!

Hope turned one on Thursday. I regret that I didn't get to do a post on that day but I was pretty busy getting ready for her party. Today we gathered with some of our family and friends to celebrate Hope's life. It was a perfect day, despite the storms outside. I think Hope had a blast! She scooted around all day long, running after the other kids and definitely enjoying all the attention.

Dave and I have reflected a lot over the past few days. It's so hard to believe it's been a year. Just a few minutes ago we laughed when trying to remember those first few nights at home with her. It's true that you do forget the hard stuff. I guess our brains block it out, trying to make room for all the good memories. As I do think back over the past year, I am flooded with gratitude of the goodness of the Lord and His provision in our lives. There were days years ago that I wondered if I'd ever have a child and here I am celebrating her birthday. So amazing!

Here are some pics from the day. It was simply priceless!

Mother's Day Thoughts

I'm not sure exactly how long I've anticipated my first mother's day, but I think pretty long. For years I sat through church fighting back tears as my mothering friends stood to be recognized. When will it be my turn? I would think. Sure, last year I was acknowledged as a mom because my belly was the size of a watermelon, but still, I longed for the day I could really be celebrated on mother's day.

The day came and went. It was a nice day and it was fun to be with close family and friends. I didn't exactly feel the heaven's open and the angels sing my praises but everyone around me made me feel special. I suppose this was my first glimpse at the fact that mothers often go unsung. It doesn't matter how sweet the card is or how long the massage is (thank you Dave and Hope for the perfect first mother's day gift - I need it! ). . . nothing can ever be an even exchange for the heart and soul that goes into mothering. I actually feel kinda lame now for all those years I tried to do something special for my mom. It was never enough.

But all gifts aside, I can honestly say the only thing that makes mothering worth it are the ones you mother. Just seeing Hope walking around in the midst of everything yesterday made my heart sing. Seeing her struggle to walk across the bathroom floor with my card shortly after she woke up, drunk from sleepiness, makes it all worth it.

So I guess, if it's not about the gifts and accolades then every day is a celebration of motherhood. Because every day that I get to see Hope grow and learn something new is its own reward for all that I've poured into her. That's probably why my mom never scoffed at my silly, little gifts and homemade cards. She knew nothing could repay her for all she'd done for us. Seeing the fruit of her labor was enough.

Oh, I think I hear my little one crying. She's had a bit of a rough day today. Time to go rock her to sleep. I guess as long as I get to keep loving and caring for my sweet girl, every day is mother's day.

Hope Is Walking!

I don't think I've ever been so proud in my life. Hope started walking about 4 weeks ago but I finally got it on video. Each day she takes more and more steps. She gets steadier and steadier every day and now I finally understand the concept of baby steps. One at a time. . . two at a time. . . until we can race across the kitchen floor in our socks without falling down.

I can't believe she is going to be 1 next week.

Man is having a baby a wonderful picture of life!

Enjoy!!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. Part 2

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in over two weeks. I'm sure the large mass of you that read my blog have been waiting on pins and needles for my next entry. Yeah right! I'm pretty certain you've gotten along just fine without me. But still, I apologize for letting things slip. It's just been that kind of season.

Hope is almost 11 months and I can hardly believe it. This season has been filled with sleepless nights (I guess those of us that get good newborn sleepers pay for it later) and running after a relentless pre-toddler. She is into everything! She cruises and climbs and is not really catching on to the word NO just yet. Well, I'm sure she's caught on, she just chooses to ignore it. I absolutely love this time with all the new things she's doing and saying, but I kinda hate it as well. I would probably call this the most wonderful and difficult season we've had with her thus far.

But, instead of lamenting about all my mommy woes I choose instead to share with you a few of my current favorite things. I did this back over the summer shortly after Hope was born. . .but those favorite things have long gone to the land of consignment sales or storage. Here's what I'm into right now:

Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair - This thing is amazing. It straps to your dining chair but reclines, has a full size tray and turns into a toddler booster seat. The best part of it is, it only costs $49! My great friend Kristy recommended it to me and I'm so glad I took her advice. I'm not sure why anyone would spend $100 or more on a full size, bulky high chair. You've gotta try it!

Puzzles, Puzzles and more Puzzles! - At first I thought Hope was a little too young for them. I thought I'd give it a try anyway. Of course she can't actually do the puzzles. . .she just walks around with the pieces in her hand. I'm not sure if all kids are like this but as long as Hope has a few little things to hold in her hands, she's good to go! Puzzle pieces are a hit!

Plastic Bibs - I think I was late to the plastic bib party because I spent lots of time (not to mention the Oxy Stain Spray) on trying to keep cloth bibs clean after being drenched in pureed carrots and sweet potatoes. It dawned on my one day that I should try using bibs of the plastic variety. Hello! These babies changed my life. Simply wipe down with soapy water after each feeding and voila! (I know most of you moms out there are laughing at me for not realizing this sooner. Whatever!)

Little People Toys - Please refer back to the Puzzle paragraph and apply the principle here. Little things to hold in the hand. . .and with faces! Enough said.

Curtains to Play Hide and Seek Behind - I have to admit I was reluctant to allow Hope to play with the curtains. . .but one, short session of her giggling like crazy as she hid behind one was enough to change my rock-hard mommy heart on the subject. Swing away dear Hope. Those giggles make my heart soar! (She also giggles like that when she races towards my MAC, but that's still off limits.)

Touch and Feel Books - I remember wondering a few months back why Hope wasn't into the touch and feel books. She just didn't get it. Then one day about a month or so ago, she began turning the pages and pointing her finger right at the textures on each page. Now she can sit for minutes (that's right, minutes . . . hey minutes are very valuable to a mom) and read them while feeling all the fun fabrics.

Well, I guess that's enough of a list for now. As we are heading quickly into the land of the 1+ year old, I would love any suggestions you all have about products or tips for this stage of life. I need all the help I can get! How exactly am I going to transition her off the bottle if she can't drink from a sippy cup?

I've got lots of work to do!

Hope Crawls!

Well, this actually happened over a week ago . . . but better late then never in sharing it, right? I'm a little behind in downloading my photos and video. Hey, I could be that mom that leaves it on the camera for over a year (so sorry, if you actually are that mom).

She's all over the place at this point. The next trick we'll be sharing is Hope pulling herself up on the furniture. She's standing now with support. It's a little scary.

Enjoy!

Corporate Mommy

Tonight is my first night away from Hope. I'm sitting in a hotel room typing this entry right about the time I would be home kissing her goodnight. I'm in Grand Rapids and she's at home and I'm doing surprisingly well with the whole thing. I'm sure that is because I will be home in less than 24 hours. Thank God the first trip was a short one.

It's funny because the whole "corporate mommy" thing was never a role I wanted to have. I suppose I thought I'd become a mom and then my career would slowly fizzle. I actually looked forward to that. Yet it seems the longer I wear the badge, the more permanent it seems to become. Right now I feel completely caught in the middle of career momentum and a desire to abandon it all. My bosses seem to think I can do anything (I am humbled by that fact) and keep tossing out options for new ventures and roles I could take on. All the while I keep thinking, I think I want off this crazy train. Shouldn't I want off this crazy train?

The truth is . . . some days I want off and some days I don't. Although I have some horribly stressful days filled with corporate politics and client drama, for the most part my job is enjoyable and I can see how the Lord is using it to prepare me for what's next. Yet the more ideas my bosses come up with, the harder it is to balance work and home life. I think I can be a great literary agent and an OK wife and mother and friend. Or I could be an OK literary agent and a great wife and mother and friend. I'm just not sure it's possible to be a great literary agent, a great wife, a great mother and a great friend. I realize I don't need to be perfect at everything but I'm one of those people who tends to believe if you can't be excellent at it, then why do it?

I don't feel like this is a season of great stress or deep confusion. I am simply keeping a spirit of evaluation as I journey through "corporate mommyhood." I pray He'll honor the fact that I am willing to give it all up at a second's notice if it overshadows my most important roles in life. Yet I am willing to give and to serve and to lean on Him for the strength to do so as long as He has me doing so.

Lord show me when it's time to get off this crazy train. And until then, I know your grace abounds.

Proverbs 31

I have been compelled lately to study this passage - Proverbs 31 - with great depth. Perhaps it is because I am working so hard right now to balance my role as a wife and mother and employee. I have felt such a great weight in the past few weeks in trying to do all things well. I'm afraid I fail miserably every day.

As I read through this passage today - one I've read probably a hundred times, I thought, What Ev! Who on earth can live up to this? I was immediately discouraged, yet the desire to be this woman became greater and greater in my heart.

I circled and underlined several words and phrases. And although I don't want this to become a list that I must live up to, I do want to note them here as a reminder to us all that we are called to these things. I'm sure many of you feel the same overwhelming weight when you look at this list. I know I am not alone. But I don't want my fear of these things to deter me from aspiring to them. Here are some of the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman:

She is:
capable
trustworthy
enriching
helpful
busy
a planner
inspecting
earning
a planter
energetic
strong
a hard worker
watching for bargains (ok, I have achieved this one! : )
extending a helping hand
opening her arms to the needy
not walking in fear
dignified
laughing with no fear of the future
kind
careful
watchful
blessed by her children
praised by her husband
rewarded

Wow! What a woman. I want to be her so badly.

And on that note, I'd better go tend to the laundry. At least now I have a holy motivation when I put my hand to things.

Just Another Ordinary Monday. . .

It's just another ordinary Monday . . . I'm sitting here in my living room, watching my daughter play in her Baby Einstein Excersaucer. She beams with excitement with every sound and song. I find that I'm beaming myself as I watch her learn and get excited about doing so. I can hardly believe that I had a part in "making" this wonderful creature. I know I've said this before, but how can anyone deny there is a God after experiencing new life?

I never understood what other mothers meant until I experienced for myself the sure joy of watching my child learn something new. This week its simply how to grab your foot and put it in your mouth, but what the heck . . . it's still a beautiful thing!

And now she whines and cries. Oh yes, it's just another ordinary Monday and I think it's time for lunch.

Delight

My mom called a minute ago to ask if I was familiar with this new voice Hope had found. Oh yes, I am familiar. . . she's got this new, high pitched squeal that she lets out anytime she is happy, which is most of the time these days. Let's not discuss the fact that she took a 2 1/2 hour nap for mom today. I'm not quite sure why she can't sleep that long for me. I keep telling myself it's because she loves to be with mommy and can't stand the thought of sleeping when we could be playing. That sounds about right.

I got to spend the day with my sweet girl yesterday. Mondays are my day at home with her. After her morning nap (which ran short of my expectations of course) I brought her down to the office where I was working and I put her in her bouncy seat to play while mommy typed away. My back was to her but I could hear this constant, excited squeal behind me. I would turn around every few minutes to interact with her and she would kick and wave in delight. I kept thinking to myself, Is it possible that she's even cuter than she was yesterday? Each new day brings a new sound or facial expression or a new level of response to me and Dave. There is so much to treasure right now. I don't want to miss a second of it.

While I want to be fiercely focused on her eating, sleeping and behavioral habits, right now it seems nothing really matters as much as enjoying every sweet moment with her. Who cares if she only sleeps 45 minutes?! It's just more time for me to revel every minute with her!

Hope Rolls Over!

I have never had so much fun coaching anyone to do anything! Hope rolled over for the first time this weekend. Well. . .she rolled from her back to her side and from her tummy to her back. She's working hard on rolling from her back to her tummy. She's almost there. But boy is she determined. She just keeps trying and she gets so frustrated when she can't do it. Her little arm gets in the way and she can't quite make it over the hump. Here's a little video of her rolling from her tummy to her back. It's progress. . .so we will celebrate it here!

On Love and Motherhood

I had lunch with an old friend yesterday. She asked me what it was like to be a mom in terms of my love for Hope. It's amazing that she asked me this question as I have been trying to wrap my head around a mommy's love for a few weeks now.

I think it was two weeks ago that I looked at Hope and I actually felt my heart skip a beat. At the same time, I experienced that silly feeling in my tummy that I haven't felt since Dave and I were dating. In that moment, I realized that I was falling in love with my little girl and that falling in love (no matter if it's with your spouse or your child) apparently feels the same. Maybe that sounds freaky or sick to some people. It was a bit odd to me at first. But then I realized that falling in love encompasses a whole host of emotion and determination that changes your life forever.

Falling in love makes you realize you'll give your life for that person. . .that you want to be with them 24/7. . . that you would do anything to make them feel loved and safe and secure with you. When you fall in love you want nothing more than to learn everything you possibly can about the uniqueness of that person and celebrate it every day of their life.

Yes, I am definitely falling in love with my little girl. And the irony of it is. . . the more love I feel for Hope, the more I am reminded that I have not loved my husband well. Leave it to our sweet heavenly Father to use parenting to bring us back around to marriage. Oh He's so strategic like that. It's those early-relationship butterflies in the tummy that first motivate us to love and to serve well. I pray that the grace of God would keep those butterflies fluttering in my heart - for Hope and for her daddy.

Naptime Prayers

So yesterday I received a little Holy kick in the pants. . .I hate those.

Sunday night I had the pleasure of going out with my girlfriends. It was one of their birthdays so we gathered at Cheesecake Factory (where else would 4 girls gather to celebrate a birthday?!) for some good food and great conversation. Because I am the last of the brood to have children, I definitely benefit from their already-gained wisdom and experience. Although Hope is doing really well, our daytime naps remain a challenge. So I asked the girls for some advice on what to do next.

I'll spare you the entire round table discussion and I'll just say I walked away knowing I was on the right track but just needed to fine tune my schedule. I was focusing so much on Hope's eating schedule that I didn't pay enough attention to whether or not she was napping at the same time every day. Turns out it varied a little too much.

I went home and talked with my husband and really got before the Lord to ask what I should do. I quickly came up with a new schedule that would work well for our home - considering Dave's and my work schedule and Hope's time at grandmas. Since I was home with her yesterday, it was the perfect time to implement it.

Let me back track for just a second to say my big challenge with our naps is that she only sleeps for 45 minutes. Three or four 45 minute naps a day makes for a very fussy baby. Although she sleeps 10-11 hours straight through the night, her lack of daytime sleep makes her less than enjoyable when Daddy gets home in the evenings.

She went down very easily for each nap. That in itself is another form of triumph for us. But even as she drifted off to dreamland with ease, I found myself begging God to "make her sleep for at least an hour, preferably two please."

8:00am Nap #1 - 45 minutes exactly. Ok Lord, it was just the first nap. Can you take care of the next one please?

Then I decided I would intercede on her behalf at that 45 minute mark. I knew I could just pray her through to an hour or more.

11:00am Nap #2 - 50 minutes. Well that's a little progress Lord but I had something more in mind.

2:00pm Nap #3 - 55 minutes. Are you kidding me Lord? Is this the way it's going to be? At this rate, it will take weeks to get where we need to be.

4:30pm Nap #4 (which I am only doing until she starts sleeping more) - 35 minutes. I give up here Lord. I guess I can't pray her to sleep.

And then it hit me. This process (and that's exactly what it is) is so much more about my willingness to persevere then it is about her sleep. So I took that as a clear kick in the pants from the Lord to just keep pressing through and trusting Him for her well being. Dave and I had no trouble contending for her life before she was born. We must still contend for every step of her growth and progress. It might seem like a little thing to want her to sleep more during the day, but it's not. It's so important to her little body. It's definitely something to contend for.

So I will not be discouraged that we only made little progress yesterday. And I believe that she will sleep longer with a few weeks of this consistency. In the meantime, I am learning to persevere in faith, for even something as seemingly little as sleep.

Week One Back in the "Real World"

I suppose I should use the term "real world" very lightly considering the fact that I work in the entertainment industry. It doesn't very much feel like the real world most of the time!

Things have been going very well at work. I'm busy enough to keep my mind off not being with Hope but not busy enough that I feel overwhelmed and want to quit. I'm sure my boss would be relieved to know that. I have to admit I've battled this feeling that nothing I am doing is as important as the little life that waits for me back home. Would I rather work on that sales report or teach my baby girl something new today? Sales report? Baby girl? Sales report? Baby girl?

One good thing that I think will come out of my situation is my being very purposeful when I AM home with Hope. I'm sure all of us moms can tend to get lazy when trying to be diligent with our kids all the time. . .or maybe that's just me. I think if I was home with her everyday, it would get old to me and I'd get lazy in my time with her. Maybe it's really sad that I'm admitting this. For now, I know that three days a week she's getting the best of my mom who will play with her and teach her things. By the time I get home to her on Thursday nights, I've missed her so much and I'm so excited to get into her world that she then gets the best of me. I believe it's a good balance for me and for Hope.

As long as it doesn't get to the point where I am so overwhelmed that she is getting "leftover mommy," I am thankful for our situation. The Lord has abundantly provided everything we've needed up until this point, I know that provision will continue each step of the way! And someday, when it is time for me to stay home with her full time (and I do hope for that day), He will then provide all the grace I need to give her the best of myself every day of the week. I guess I'm glad I get to ease into it!

First Day Back

I'm headed out the door after my first day back to work. It went pretty well. I didn't cry at all. Just felt a slight underlying feeling of guilt all day for not being home with Hope and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because I miss her so much.

She's home with my mom which is the only reason I didn't lose it today. It feels so safe to know she's with grandma. I am proud to say I only called home once today to check on them. To my delight, grandma reported that Hope went down for her naps very well and even slept 2 hours after her 11 am bottle. I am so thankful Hope has been so good for my mom and yet I wonder why she's not been that good for me! I suppose she's on her best behavior for grandma!

I'm still not sure if I am ever going to get used to leaving her. As great as our situation is, it is hard. But I feel called to be doing what I am doing so for now, this is my reality. Dave and I are taking it one step at a time as we walk the parenting trail. Maybe someday I'll get to stay home with her, but for now she gets to enjoy extra special time with grandma.

So This Is What It Feels Like To Be A Mom. . .

I kept saying that I still didn't really feel like a mom yet. Everything has been so surreal and unbelievable that it just hadn't sunk in. I would look at Hope and think, is she really mine? Am I responsible for this life? That was. . .until today.

Today we had Hope's two-month check up. All you moms out there know exactly what's coming. . .SHOTS! Yes, we endured the dreaded "first shot visit" today with our sweet girl. Dave came with us, thank God. I would not have made it without him there. After much prayer and deliberation, we determined that she should receive all five shots today. Three in one leg, two in the other.

After shot number one, she didn't make a peep. Dave and I looked at each other and thought, cool! Just then, the nurse blurted out, "Oh, I meant to tell you it doesn't usually kick in until shot #2." And then it came. . .the most horrible sound I have ever heard in my entire life. . .my child's cry of pain. With shot #'s 3, 4 and 5 it got worse and worse until I thought I was going to die. I stood there weeping. I looked over at Dave and he was crying too. I'm not talking sad little teary eyes. We were both balling by the end of it. I took her in my arms and tried to comfort her while I listened to her cry cries I have never heard come out of her. She calmed down a bit, letting out only little whimpers and sighs and at that moment, as I held her close, I knew I was her mom. I finally felt like her mom.

I think I now know what it means to be a parent. The idea that you allow your child to go through a little bit of pain because you know it's a means to a better end completely encompasses parenting. I realize this is just the tip of the iceberg for that truth. I guess there will be many more tears to come for Hope and for us!

P.S. I return to work tomorrow. Yet another milestone on this journey. Please pray for peace and strength as we make this transition. I am so thankful I get to leave her with my mom!

Dirty Little Secrets

So almost every day I watch Rachael Ray at 3pm central standard time. Most of the time, Hope is sleeping - although today I took about 6 trips up the stairs during the three o clock hour and she just finally drifted off at 4:15. I just love Rachael Ray. Sure, she doesn't share all of my values, but she's pretty down to earth and her shows are more helpful and informative than gossipy. And so I watch whenever I can.

Today she had on two women that authored the books, "I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids" and "Dirty Little Secrets From Otherwise Imperfect Moms." The latter book was the focus of the show. Rachael even had moms send in videos with their dirty little mom secrets (more about mom-light savings time later). I found myself getting really into their tips and tricks. Ha, Ha, Ha. I thought. I may be a new mom, but I'm not crazy. I'm only 2 months in, but all moms feel like this from time to time. They all fudge a little just to get a break.

And then I felt that tug on my heart and I knew I needed to guard myself against jumping on board this train. I'm sure the book is really cute and the dirty little secrets are silly and harmless but if I'm looking for fun ways out already, I'm in for trouble. It's not that I think it's wrong for a mom to turn all of her clocks ahead to trick her children into going to bed an hour early, just so she can take a bubble bath. No way sister. If that's what that mother of 8 year old twins needed to do, more power to her! It's just that I felt a place of comfort, identifying with moms who are burned out and tired of trying to be perfect. I related all too well already, thinking that's totally going to be me.

I don't want that to be me. I have no desire to be supermom but more importantly, I have no desire to try to be supermom only to fall short every day and hate myself for it. I just want to be a peaceful and diligent mom who is led by the Spirit to do what is best for Hope, no matter what other moms think or do. I'm sure there will be times when I fudge a bit. . .bend the "rules" or throw the schedule out the window. That's the fun and flexible part of the mom I want to be.

I think all in all, balance is the key. We can't take ourselves or our job as a mom too seriously, yet we need to go after it with excellence and diligence. I'm not sure I've found the secret to attaining this balance (after all I'm only 2 months in) but I am committed to get there. . .for her sake and for mine.

P.S. I decided not to get that book just yet. I don't think it's best for this rookie to learn the secrets too soon. Although I think I will pick it up at some point once I have a little more time under my belt as a mom.

A Matter Of Healing

We had a wonderful night last night. Hope slept 8 hours straight! I can hardly believe it. Now if I can just get her to do that consistently. . .we're on our way there. She's had a great day today as well. Although she is still battling digestive issues, we seem to have it a bit more under control. Praise the Lord!

I have though, really felt the Lord speaking to me in the past few days about making this a matter of healing. I suppose since the doctor and many books and websites I have read have said this is "normal", I figured we would just deal with it. But I feel the Lord telling me that I don't just have to deal with it. . .that we can have peace in Hope's body and in our home. We just have to make it a matter of healing for Hope.

Although I have constantly prayed over her little body for peace and relief from her discomfort, I am now contending boldly for her complete and total healing. I am asking the Lord to relieve her of any digestive issues and to bring peace to her system. I am a little embarrased that I didn't start this sooner, but I know this is the Lord's way of teaching me even more to press into Him and not just accept things that I am told.

So many lessons to learn about Hope and myself and the Lord. I am actually beginning to get excited about how this new season is going to refine me. I always figured it would, but the reality of it is so much deeper than I had imagined. I love the way He continues to mold us through all of life's circumstances - the good and the bad.

Sweet Peace

Hope is six weeks today and we're making progress. Last night she slept for 6 1/2 hours straight. Woo hoo! Mommy and Daddy are feeling good today! I've realized that she loves to take long afternoon naps as well so I've been getting about 3 hours to myself every day. It seems that I'm getting to the place where I understand her more and that makes me feel a little more equipt to guide her. . .if that makes any sense.

Thanks for all your prayers. Here's a little picture of what peace looks like!

A Psalm for Hope

I think last night was our worst yet. Worse than those very early days when I was sure she would never sleep. Last night, after three days of great progress and triumph, my sweet girl not only didn't sleep but she cried in pain for hours. Oh her poor little digestive system. She just couldn't settle down. I know most of you are reading this and just laughing - remembering your own nights such as this. Promise me this will pass?!

I keep beating myself up because I don't quite know what to do with her. Work towards a schedule or just comfort her? I suppose I should shoot for somewhere in the middle. I am reminding myself that the level of confusion and craziness that I feel are no indication of my ability as a mother. It's all so knew to me. I very often feel fear rise up within me. I am fighting it as I keep asking the Father for wisdom and grace.

My time in the Word has been a little hit or miss. But this morning I knew I had to dig in. The Lord led me to read Psalm 139, one of my favorites. As I got to verse 13, I heard Him say, "Read it and insert Hope's name." This is what I read and these are the promises I will stand on for my baby girl.

"For You created Hope's inmost being. You knit her together in my womb. I praise you because she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. Hope's frame was not hidden from You when she was made in the secret place. When she was woven together in the depths of the earth Your eyes saw her unformed body. All the days ordained for Hope were written in Your book, before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

Each and every day I spend with Hope has been ordained by You Lord. You are not surprised by her discomfort. You know the source of every cry. Please cover me Lord as I gently lead her to a place of peace.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. . .

So I'm taking a break from lamenting about how hard it is to parent a newborn. Most of you that read this blog are mothers so I'm not telling you anything new! Blah, blah, blah. . .this is hard. . .she's getting more fussy. . .harder to predict, etc, etc. You know the drill. I'll just keep praying.

In the meantime, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite new baby items with you. I know I've only been at this about a month, but I already have a "must have" list.

Oxy Clean Spray - my friend Kristy got me this as a gift at my shower. She swore by it and I am echoing her endorsement. Friday morning Hope had the biggest blow out. We're talking green poop all over a brand new outfit my grandma bought her. A few squirts of Oxy Clean spray and a run through the wash and you would never know she pooped so hard it came out the front of the diaper all over her clothes.

Gerber Organic Onesies - I love them! They are true to size so the 0-3 month ones really did fit her at the beginning and they are sooooooo soft! Even after you wash them. A must have staple for every baby's wardrobe.

Bath Sponge - ok I'm not totally sure exactly what it's called. My friends Gwen and Sarah turned me on to this. They said they use this instead of a baby bathtub. But I use both. The bath sponge is yellow and acts like a little cradle the baby can lay in while bathing. I place it in the baby tub so she has something soft to lay on. I know some tubs (mine included) come with a sling, but this is so much better and it holds the water so she feels the warmth on her back. At only $5.99, it's totally worth it. For her first few weeks, I used it on the kitchen counter, on a towel to lay her in while I sponge-bathed her.

Old-fashioned, White, Gausey Burp Cloths - I only have one that I got at a boutique (embroidered). I cannot for the life of me find any cheap, plain ones. Anyone know where to get them? They are really the best type of burp cloth. They make so many kinds. . .flannel, more towel like. But to me, these work the best. I'm on the hunt for more (probably not boutique ones as they are pricey), so let me know if you have any leads. Would you believe with everything they sell at Babies r Us, they have one type of burp cloth there? A pack of pink (or blue) Gerber cotton ones (I bought them and they are fine but not my fave). I used to think the flannel ones from Target were my pick but the more I wash them, the harder they get.

Baby Einstein "Mirror Me" Book - my friend Stephanie got this for me. I use it every day for Hope's floor and tummy time. She really seems to look at the pictures. I'm not sure she gets the mirror yet, but she will. It's a great play-time book for newborns.

Medela Micro Steam Bags - if you are breastfeeding and you don't know about these, you are missing out. I'm not even breastfeeding anymore and I still use them! My friend Amber turned me on to them. Well, not intentionally, I just watched her use them and I decided for myself that I must have them. They come in a box of 5 steam bags. You can use each bag 20 times. So for about $9.99 you get to steam your pump accessories or your bottle nipples or pacifiers 100 times. You just throw everything into the bag, add a little water, pop it in the microwave for 90 seconds and there you go. Everything is steamed! They are so easy to use and it makes me feel great to steam my items once or twice a week. When I was pumping, I steamed the pump parts after every use.

Well, I think that's enough information for one day. I'm sure my list will grow. Feel free to comment back with some of your favorite items. I'm always looking for new tricks! Yesterday at church, I totally felt like the new kid in school while in the "mother's room". I need all the training I can get from those of you that have gone before me. As you can see from my list above, most of my favorites have been recommendations of my friends. Thank you all for that.

P.S. My goal for today is to catch up on my friend's blogs. I feel so out of the loop on their lives, being so consumed with mine and Hope's. So here's to trying to get out there in cyberworld a bit today. Wish me luck!