Hope Turns 1!

Hope turned one on Thursday. I regret that I didn't get to do a post on that day but I was pretty busy getting ready for her party. Today we gathered with some of our family and friends to celebrate Hope's life. It was a perfect day, despite the storms outside. I think Hope had a blast! She scooted around all day long, running after the other kids and definitely enjoying all the attention.

Dave and I have reflected a lot over the past few days. It's so hard to believe it's been a year. Just a few minutes ago we laughed when trying to remember those first few nights at home with her. It's true that you do forget the hard stuff. I guess our brains block it out, trying to make room for all the good memories. As I do think back over the past year, I am flooded with gratitude of the goodness of the Lord and His provision in our lives. There were days years ago that I wondered if I'd ever have a child and here I am celebrating her birthday. So amazing!

Here are some pics from the day. It was simply priceless!

Mother's Day Thoughts

I'm not sure exactly how long I've anticipated my first mother's day, but I think pretty long. For years I sat through church fighting back tears as my mothering friends stood to be recognized. When will it be my turn? I would think. Sure, last year I was acknowledged as a mom because my belly was the size of a watermelon, but still, I longed for the day I could really be celebrated on mother's day.

The day came and went. It was a nice day and it was fun to be with close family and friends. I didn't exactly feel the heaven's open and the angels sing my praises but everyone around me made me feel special. I suppose this was my first glimpse at the fact that mothers often go unsung. It doesn't matter how sweet the card is or how long the massage is (thank you Dave and Hope for the perfect first mother's day gift - I need it! ). . . nothing can ever be an even exchange for the heart and soul that goes into mothering. I actually feel kinda lame now for all those years I tried to do something special for my mom. It was never enough.

But all gifts aside, I can honestly say the only thing that makes mothering worth it are the ones you mother. Just seeing Hope walking around in the midst of everything yesterday made my heart sing. Seeing her struggle to walk across the bathroom floor with my card shortly after she woke up, drunk from sleepiness, makes it all worth it.

So I guess, if it's not about the gifts and accolades then every day is a celebration of motherhood. Because every day that I get to see Hope grow and learn something new is its own reward for all that I've poured into her. That's probably why my mom never scoffed at my silly, little gifts and homemade cards. She knew nothing could repay her for all she'd done for us. Seeing the fruit of her labor was enough.

Oh, I think I hear my little one crying. She's had a bit of a rough day today. Time to go rock her to sleep. I guess as long as I get to keep loving and caring for my sweet girl, every day is mother's day.

Hope Is Walking!

I don't think I've ever been so proud in my life. Hope started walking about 4 weeks ago but I finally got it on video. Each day she takes more and more steps. She gets steadier and steadier every day and now I finally understand the concept of baby steps. One at a time. . . two at a time. . . until we can race across the kitchen floor in our socks without falling down.

I can't believe she is going to be 1 next week.

Man is having a baby a wonderful picture of life!

Enjoy!!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. Part 2

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in over two weeks. I'm sure the large mass of you that read my blog have been waiting on pins and needles for my next entry. Yeah right! I'm pretty certain you've gotten along just fine without me. But still, I apologize for letting things slip. It's just been that kind of season.

Hope is almost 11 months and I can hardly believe it. This season has been filled with sleepless nights (I guess those of us that get good newborn sleepers pay for it later) and running after a relentless pre-toddler. She is into everything! She cruises and climbs and is not really catching on to the word NO just yet. Well, I'm sure she's caught on, she just chooses to ignore it. I absolutely love this time with all the new things she's doing and saying, but I kinda hate it as well. I would probably call this the most wonderful and difficult season we've had with her thus far.

But, instead of lamenting about all my mommy woes I choose instead to share with you a few of my current favorite things. I did this back over the summer shortly after Hope was born. . .but those favorite things have long gone to the land of consignment sales or storage. Here's what I'm into right now:

Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair - This thing is amazing. It straps to your dining chair but reclines, has a full size tray and turns into a toddler booster seat. The best part of it is, it only costs $49! My great friend Kristy recommended it to me and I'm so glad I took her advice. I'm not sure why anyone would spend $100 or more on a full size, bulky high chair. You've gotta try it!

Puzzles, Puzzles and more Puzzles! - At first I thought Hope was a little too young for them. I thought I'd give it a try anyway. Of course she can't actually do the puzzles. . .she just walks around with the pieces in her hand. I'm not sure if all kids are like this but as long as Hope has a few little things to hold in her hands, she's good to go! Puzzle pieces are a hit!

Plastic Bibs - I think I was late to the plastic bib party because I spent lots of time (not to mention the Oxy Stain Spray) on trying to keep cloth bibs clean after being drenched in pureed carrots and sweet potatoes. It dawned on my one day that I should try using bibs of the plastic variety. Hello! These babies changed my life. Simply wipe down with soapy water after each feeding and voila! (I know most of you moms out there are laughing at me for not realizing this sooner. Whatever!)

Little People Toys - Please refer back to the Puzzle paragraph and apply the principle here. Little things to hold in the hand. . .and with faces! Enough said.

Curtains to Play Hide and Seek Behind - I have to admit I was reluctant to allow Hope to play with the curtains. . .but one, short session of her giggling like crazy as she hid behind one was enough to change my rock-hard mommy heart on the subject. Swing away dear Hope. Those giggles make my heart soar! (She also giggles like that when she races towards my MAC, but that's still off limits.)

Touch and Feel Books - I remember wondering a few months back why Hope wasn't into the touch and feel books. She just didn't get it. Then one day about a month or so ago, she began turning the pages and pointing her finger right at the textures on each page. Now she can sit for minutes (that's right, minutes . . . hey minutes are very valuable to a mom) and read them while feeling all the fun fabrics.

Well, I guess that's enough of a list for now. As we are heading quickly into the land of the 1+ year old, I would love any suggestions you all have about products or tips for this stage of life. I need all the help I can get! How exactly am I going to transition her off the bottle if she can't drink from a sippy cup?

I've got lots of work to do!

Simple Thoughts, Round 3

In the spirit of simplicity, I'll keep this short!

I'm behind. I fear I'm failing miserably at this little project I set out to do. . . and it's only March. But, alas, I am letting myself off the hook because the moment your attempt to simplify things makes life harder, you've totally missed the point.

So even though I owe you a project for last week I'm afraid to say that these really simple thoughts are all you are going to get because I spent the weekend playing nurse to a 10 month old including a short trip to the ER on Sunday morning. All is well now with our little Hope but it was a crazy couple of days.

Check back in a few days as I play catch up with a project for this week! You can bet your life it's going to be a small one! Hey, every little bit counts. That's what I'm trying to teach you people!

Hope Crawls!

Well, this actually happened over a week ago . . . but better late then never in sharing it, right? I'm a little behind in downloading my photos and video. Hey, I could be that mom that leaves it on the camera for over a year (so sorry, if you actually are that mom).

She's all over the place at this point. The next trick we'll be sharing is Hope pulling herself up on the furniture. She's standing now with support. It's a little scary.

Enjoy!

Simplicity Project #5

Well I'm just going to go ahead and admit it. I completed this project several weeks ago right after the holidays. We were up to our ears in boxes and stuff in the garage after Christmas. I had to get it done. So I captured it on film so I could share it with you at the appropriate time. Seeing as how Hope's sick with her first cold (so sad!), I thought now was the perfect time to pull this project out of my back pocket.

The Garage Before (there was already room for my car on the left of course). . .


And The Garage After (now with room for Dave's car). . .

We got rid of that pile of broken down boxes the next day in the trash. Now we can both park in there. Woo hoo!

I hope you all are attacking your home projects. I'm spending this week preparing all of my items for the consignment sale. It's time consuming but I'm hoping to make a few hundred bucks. Nothing like cleaning and making se dough while you are at it.

If you think about it, please pray for Hope. She's pretty miserable this week. Although I have to say, even though she is stuffed up, she can't stop smiling and playing! That's my girl!

Simplicity Project #4

Before I get going about my project, I just have to share this really sweet pic of Hope. I think she may grow up to be a writer. What do you think? So introspective!

This week I chose a very simple project to complete. Work has been a little overwhelming so I'm actually pretty proud that I even found the time to do this one, little thing to create space in my world. Not sure the "platter cabinet" is going to cause any earth-shattering effects either way, but I'm glad to have it done nonetheless. Not too much of a difference but definitely got rid of some items I haven't been using.
Before

After

I am feeling more and more, the need to create space in my life. As certain things seem to be closing in on me, I find refuge in areas I can control such as my atmosphere. It really does help bring peace in the midst of the storm. I hope you all are getting inspired by these posts. Please feel free to share about projects you are tackling in your home!

Separation Anxiety

Every book, website, email blast or piece of mommy mail I read says we may be experiencing separation anxiety at this point. It makes total sense - heightened awareness, increased understanding, a deeper level of bonding. . . But the funny thing is, every time I leave Hope at my mom's house she is either eating or if I stay long enough for a cup of coffee, playing in her exersaucer and she never seems affected by my goodbye kisses and waves as I walk out the door. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that she is happy and thriving with my mom (I had no doubt she would be).

This week, every time I dropped her off and headed to work I was in the worst mood. I thought maybe I was just tired or cranky because work has been ramping up but then as I walked out my mom's door yesterday morning it hit me. . . separation anxiety. The books and websites don't talk about my separation anxiety. The mommy mail doesn't address how I'll feel when I leave my little one. I think the two weeks plus I spent with Hope over the holidays ruined me for my time away from her. While I still enjoy going to work and having adult interaction and independence, my deeper connection with Hope as she grows is causing the stakes to be higher. If I am going to leave her, if I am going to miss out on even one day, it's got to be worth it.

Which leads me to the ponderings that have plagued my mind this week. Am I that passionate about my work that it is worth time away from my girl? Some days I feel like I am. Although it's not that I've ever felt a really deep passion about what I do per say, but rather a deep passion for the One I do it for. In my line of work, you spend your days navigating through artistic personalities and temperaments, insecurities and lofty ideas. It's enough to make you exhausted, if not downright sick. So although I love my clients and I am committed to serve them well, I don't do it for them. If I did, I would have given up years ago. I serve them in order to serve God and serve the people they reach with their art. I have to remind myself of this fact every now and then. . . on occasions like this that cause me to re-evaluate everything.

Today I feel called to do this work. I feel His grace over me which allows me to leave goodbye kisses and waves as I walk out the door and leave my child in the hands of another (thank you God it's my mother). But I can promise Hope this. . . not a day will go by without me pausing to ask the Lord if His grace still covers this. God give me the wisdom to know the answer.

Simplicity Project #2

Here we go again. This week I tackled Hope's closet. It's amazing how much stuff an 8 month old can accumulate! We were blessed with so many things . . . mostly adorable outfits that she wore once. People just can't help themselves from buying baby girl outfits, mommy included! I think one of the main things that compelled me to do this project was the overwhelmingness of Hope's closet. While I have been so thankful for the overabundance of clothing (what woman wouldn't be happy with choice when it comes to clothing?) I have felt guilty, almost ashamed if she didn't wear it all. And so I have felt the need to downsize.

Hope's Closet Before

Hope's Closet After


And then the really huge pile of stuff I will be consigning or giving to Good Will

Now this display does not take into account the new clothes my mom brought back to me from the many, generous family members in Florida that yup, you guessed it, just couldn't help themselves and bought Hope not one, but many new outfits for the spring and summer. Good thing I took this shot before I crammed all those in there! No seriously, I am thankful. She will need to be clothed this summer.

Let's just say with 50 more Simplicity Projects to go this year, you just might see Hope's closet show up one or two more times!

I am so thankful that the Lord has given me vision to do this for our home. Even with traveling twice for work last week, I still feel an amazing measure of grace and space for Him to work and to speak. I know it is in part because I am being obedient to this task. Cleaning house feels great!

Baby's First Christmas!

I pray you all had a wonderful and peaceful holiday. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun we had with Hope. If you have children or nieces or nephews or grandchildren, I'm sure you understand. I think she knew it was Christmas and that it meant family and presents and fun because she was in the best mood ever! Constantly laughing and playing. What a joy! Here are a few pics of our fun!

Hope's First Snow!

So now I have something new to add to my list of things that make me full of joy and wonder during the holidays . . . a baby in the snow! Isn't she cute!!

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I just put Hope down for a nap. She was a bit resistant this morning. Perhaps it's because she fell back asleep after waking at 6am and slept until 7:45! Happy Thanksgiving to mommy and daddy, we got to sleep in!

As I was rocking her in my arms (something I don't normally do however NOT getting a good nap is NOT an option this morning as the holiday festivities await us) I was getting a little frustrated with her inability to settle down. For a minute, I thought it could be a wonderful Thanksgiving moment where I rocked her and she drifted off to sleep while I pondered how thankful we are for our little miracle. The moment quickly fizzled as she squirmed and I worked hard to contain my frustration.

I went ahead and put her down in the bed even though she was still a bit wound up. She fussed for a minute or two as I headed back downstairs. I joined Dave on the living room floor, who was combing through the Thanksgiving paper trying to determine if there were any deals worth getting up for at the crack of dawn. I assure you, there are not any deals worth losing sleep over. But I'll save that for another post. Maybe tomorrow I'll address the craziness of Black Friday.

Five minutes later, I realized that Hope had drifted off. So first, I will testify that I am thankful for good naps! They are hit or miss in our house, but I'll take them when I can get them.

I realized this morning that although sweet moments are a wonderful setting for thankfulness to pour out of our hearts, we should not need them in order to see God's goodness in our lives. Dave and I have so much to be thankful for and no matter what is going on around me, I choose to focus on them today. . .this week. . .this holiday season.

We are thankful for each other (at least I can speak for myself), for our sweet, perfect little girl, for our health and God's provision in our lives, for our families - many of whom live so close (praise God!) and for so many amazing friends. The list could go on and on.

So here I sit amidst a sea of papers filled with promises of deals and stuff that will make me happy despite my having to get up at 3am to obtain them. And I could care less about any of it. I have everything I need right here with me and for that I am so thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Hope's First Trip!

This weekend we visited Minnesota to see Dave's family. We had a wonderful time and Hope did so well on the plane and also sleeping in a new place for the first time. She's such a good little traveler. Here are some highlights.

Oh. . .and FYI moms. . .the new whale tub from Target is awesome! It's the perfect reclining position for infants to lay back but not slide around. I already have a tub, but I think I may go out and get this one too. It's so much better than the traditional plastic tub!

Here's Hope taking a bath, performing her new olympic-ready gymnast stance, attending her first tea party at Aunt Jane's and lastly, sporting a Minnesota approved, monkey fur hat (which was completely necessary in the 80 degree weather we had).

Just Another Ordinary Monday. . .

It's just another ordinary Monday . . . I'm sitting here in my living room, watching my daughter play in her Baby Einstein Excersaucer. She beams with excitement with every sound and song. I find that I'm beaming myself as I watch her learn and get excited about doing so. I can hardly believe that I had a part in "making" this wonderful creature. I know I've said this before, but how can anyone deny there is a God after experiencing new life?

I never understood what other mothers meant until I experienced for myself the sure joy of watching my child learn something new. This week its simply how to grab your foot and put it in your mouth, but what the heck . . . it's still a beautiful thing!

And now she whines and cries. Oh yes, it's just another ordinary Monday and I think it's time for lunch.

Delight

My mom called a minute ago to ask if I was familiar with this new voice Hope had found. Oh yes, I am familiar. . . she's got this new, high pitched squeal that she lets out anytime she is happy, which is most of the time these days. Let's not discuss the fact that she took a 2 1/2 hour nap for mom today. I'm not quite sure why she can't sleep that long for me. I keep telling myself it's because she loves to be with mommy and can't stand the thought of sleeping when we could be playing. That sounds about right.

I got to spend the day with my sweet girl yesterday. Mondays are my day at home with her. After her morning nap (which ran short of my expectations of course) I brought her down to the office where I was working and I put her in her bouncy seat to play while mommy typed away. My back was to her but I could hear this constant, excited squeal behind me. I would turn around every few minutes to interact with her and she would kick and wave in delight. I kept thinking to myself, Is it possible that she's even cuter than she was yesterday? Each new day brings a new sound or facial expression or a new level of response to me and Dave. There is so much to treasure right now. I don't want to miss a second of it.

While I want to be fiercely focused on her eating, sleeping and behavioral habits, right now it seems nothing really matters as much as enjoying every sweet moment with her. Who cares if she only sleeps 45 minutes?! It's just more time for me to revel every minute with her!

Hope's Dedication

This past Sunday we dedicated Hope to the Lord in the presence of our family and friends. This might sound odd, but this was one of the major events that I had been looking forward to. . . even as I was still pregnant. I just kept thinking about the moment we could stand in front of our church body and thank them for their incredible support while giving the Lord complete glory for our miracle. It was a very sweet time and a great reminder of the journey we had traveled to get us to this point. He truly has done great things for us!

Here's a pic from our special day and a few shots from when we caught Hope reading the other day. I think she's going to be a book worm like daddy!

Hope Rolls Over!

I have never had so much fun coaching anyone to do anything! Hope rolled over for the first time this weekend. Well. . .she rolled from her back to her side and from her tummy to her back. She's working hard on rolling from her back to her tummy. She's almost there. But boy is she determined. She just keeps trying and she gets so frustrated when she can't do it. Her little arm gets in the way and she can't quite make it over the hump. Here's a little video of her rolling from her tummy to her back. It's progress. . .so we will celebrate it here!

On Love and Motherhood

I had lunch with an old friend yesterday. She asked me what it was like to be a mom in terms of my love for Hope. It's amazing that she asked me this question as I have been trying to wrap my head around a mommy's love for a few weeks now.

I think it was two weeks ago that I looked at Hope and I actually felt my heart skip a beat. At the same time, I experienced that silly feeling in my tummy that I haven't felt since Dave and I were dating. In that moment, I realized that I was falling in love with my little girl and that falling in love (no matter if it's with your spouse or your child) apparently feels the same. Maybe that sounds freaky or sick to some people. It was a bit odd to me at first. But then I realized that falling in love encompasses a whole host of emotion and determination that changes your life forever.

Falling in love makes you realize you'll give your life for that person. . .that you want to be with them 24/7. . . that you would do anything to make them feel loved and safe and secure with you. When you fall in love you want nothing more than to learn everything you possibly can about the uniqueness of that person and celebrate it every day of their life.

Yes, I am definitely falling in love with my little girl. And the irony of it is. . . the more love I feel for Hope, the more I am reminded that I have not loved my husband well. Leave it to our sweet heavenly Father to use parenting to bring us back around to marriage. Oh He's so strategic like that. It's those early-relationship butterflies in the tummy that first motivate us to love and to serve well. I pray that the grace of God would keep those butterflies fluttering in my heart - for Hope and for her daddy.

Hope's 3 Month Pictures

Well. . .I did it. I spent my life savings on portraits of my child. Something I said I would never do. But seriously. . . who can resist beautiful pictures of their child? We're all self-absorbed enough to think our parents and our siblings and our aunts and uncles and friends and well. . . I guess the lady down at Publix will all want a 5x7 of our child, right? Lord knows I got enough to pass out to all of Williamson County! Don't be surprised if you see these shots posted at your local grocery store!!

But isn't she sweet?